Confidence in Printing and Sanity
Today, I feel like I may have earned some right to the internal title
of designer. Like most human beings on the planet, I sometimes deal
with insecurities about who I am and what I am doing. Readers may know
(because I can't ever seem to stop talking about it in one form or
another) how my earlier failures were a severe blow to my confidence and
self-esteem. In an effort to repair my life, and at least get my
financial life back in order, during the last several years I managed to
get an associates degree in graphic design. It was an attempt at
gaining a skill that could at least help me find a way to earn my daily
bread. Being a teacher is a profession that requires the training that
escaped me, maybe learning the design trade could help me salvage some
self-respect and help me earn a dollar or two. (The student loan debt I
have is outrageous, so I will probably be condemned to poverty for the
remainder of my life. The worst thing about poverty, at least in regards
to how I view it, is that I do not have the monetary means to support
my family and friends in the way I would like. I likely will never be
able to buy my parents something they need, help them out of a jam, loan
my sisters a few hundred dollars, etc.) Anyhow, it is funny to say that
my insecurity in my personal and design abilities makes me secure in
the knowledge that I won't be the best designer on the planet.
However, today, I may have earned a little more right to the title. After a breakfast, a little television, and a shower, I drove to work and completed the recipe cards that my mother needed printed for her next monthly project. There were a few minor typos that needed fixing before printing the whole block of them. They're on cardstock, and initially, I couldn't figure out why they weren't printing front and back. It turns out the "reloaded" setting on the paper selection for the copier prevents the program itself from printing front and back. Once I had changed it from "cardstock reloaded" to just "cardstock," the problem was resolved.
Then, I drove into the neighboring town and talked with downtown printer that I was familiar with. They seem knowledgeable and talented, but their prices also reflect it. I needed some size #6 catalog style enveloped, which is a size above 6x9 and below 9x12. Catalog style is a bit stronger than booklet style, and because our mail order department crams our product into envelopes almost near to bursting, I figured we needed it. Catalog style was the way to go. For those envelopes, there is a seam down the middle, and the envelope opens on the shortest end. Booklet style envelope opens on the longest side.
I told them that I had the original file as well as the PDF. They told me that the original file is essentially worthless if the links and the fonts are not also embedded. They said that, for it to be useful, it had to be "packaged." I knew that from school training, but like a dope, forgot. I manually included the link to the image file in a separate folder, but it did not have the typefaces. Fortunately, the PDF saved my bacon. They even had me come around their front counter to look at it on their computer screen to ensure that it looked the way that I needed it to. It did. (For some reason, salesman at the counter assumed that the copier error where the ink had not fully printed the logo was intentional. I assured him it was not.)
Satisfied the job was going to be done, I then drove out to the next printer to have them print the 9x12 envelopes that I needed. They are about fifty dollars cheaper than the downtown printer. The one worry that I still had was wondering if the first printer I visited will use the second one to print the job I gave them, and then charge me extra for handling. Was there a chance that the poor slob who operates the press will see a job with the same logo on two different sized envelopes for two different clients? Will it matter? Will there be any embarrassment for me or the printer if they find out that I used two different printers for essentially the same work? Maybe there might some embarrassment at a professional faux pas, but I guess I am prepared to deal with it and face the fallout if need be.
Anyhow, arriving to the printers, I was immediately greeted by two medium to large sized dogs Clearly, this was a more relaxed style of business where the owner had decided that dogs were okay. I am always initially weirded out about businesses that have pets, but really, I guess I don't mind if the animals are friendly enough. The dogs sniffed my shoe rather heavily before being called back to someone's desk.
I asked to speak to someone about a quote, which they gave me, and was really nice. I hope that the job turns out as well as I hope because you can't beat their price. I had discovered this print shop when I had gone to a portfolio show and discovered that a former classmate had worked there. I figured, "why not?" This is the sort of networking that is supposed to pay off, right?
Then I returned back to work and continued to work on the booklet that needs to be completed in a couple of days. There are a few articles that the boss needs to send me, but it looks like it will get done on time, even if I have to work over the holiday.
I signed out at 5pm, which is normal for me. I wasn't going to do much overtime today because I felt like I had already done enough, and a good job at that. Unfortunately, our work culture seems to run on stress and frustration. If someone is not constantly complaining about being over-worked, over-tired, or having too much with not enough time to do it, then we really are in trouble. That sort of environment seems to work when it comes to getting the jobs done, but at a personal and emotional cost to the people there. It is a fraying of nerves that slowly come undone a strand at a time. Maybe this sort of environment is part of why I feel anxious most of the time. As if the only solution to problems is to worry about what is not getting done, because formally coming up with practical solutions or organizing a plan is apparently too much or out of the question.
I was glad work was done.About an hour later, I was making plans for my monday night. Monday night is my night to go to the center and says prayers or offer devotions. Tonight, a homeless gentleman who may or may not have schizophrenia, was there. It has sort of become my default job to be there and help the ladies feel comfortable about this unpredictable element of a man with a mental health issue. I try to engage the man positively on his terms and help him to feel as comfortable as possible. It is not always possible to hold his attention the entire time, and he whispers and laughs to himself a lot, so there is no telling what he is thinking about in any given instance.
Still, I have to believe that his presence there might be helping him keep a hold on some part of sanity—a reassurance that society still is willing to engage with him. He is not a non-person. People still look at him, engage with him, and offer some small amount of help that they might have. Unlike last time, no-one offered him any protein bars, nuts, or other kind of food, but I noted that he had a plastic bag full of pizza slices. I do not know where or how he may have gotten them, but I imagine that a sympathetic worker at a local pizza place may have given him the left-over slices from a days work. Seeing a bag filled with food like that is a sobering reminder about how much the homeless have to think about the basic necessities of life during a given day. If I am ever homeless, I wonder how I might cope with the lack of food?
His situation is really tough, and unfortunately in our society, apparently common. He is clearly grappling with a mental heath condition that prevents him from acting in his own best interests to get off the streets (if there is a way to do that). He imagines gods and goddesses (literally) are talking to him. They give him warnings or guidance that directly tell him to do something. Of course, a person in that condition is not going to take medication that forces them back into a healthy reality. And, other people he meets in society cannot force him to do it, even as the government won't do it. A family member, might, if they could fight through the bureaucracy, have him institutionalized. But that is assuming that the family members is around or wants to get involved. I don't know this man's last name, so I do not have a clue if he has family or not. I have heard the older folks say that people like him used to be put into institutions where doctors and nurses monitored them and helped them take their medications, something that the government paid for. But that is no longer the case, people in his condition, too far removed from reality wind up on the streets or in jail. Fortunately, for this man in particular, he seems too nice to do anything violent, but I guess that is only as long as his illness doesn't progress or go any further,
As far as devotions at the center went, I hope that they were beneficial to those who were there. It is hard to know. I feel slightly sad knowing that the amount of people who attend seems unusually small. More people could (and probably should) attend, but for one reason or another, they don't. I have tried to make it my Monday priority. It is one of my methods being sane and healthy myself. An investment in the things in life that, hopefully, really matter.
However, today, I may have earned a little more right to the title. After a breakfast, a little television, and a shower, I drove to work and completed the recipe cards that my mother needed printed for her next monthly project. There were a few minor typos that needed fixing before printing the whole block of them. They're on cardstock, and initially, I couldn't figure out why they weren't printing front and back. It turns out the "reloaded" setting on the paper selection for the copier prevents the program itself from printing front and back. Once I had changed it from "cardstock reloaded" to just "cardstock," the problem was resolved.
Then, I drove into the neighboring town and talked with downtown printer that I was familiar with. They seem knowledgeable and talented, but their prices also reflect it. I needed some size #6 catalog style enveloped, which is a size above 6x9 and below 9x12. Catalog style is a bit stronger than booklet style, and because our mail order department crams our product into envelopes almost near to bursting, I figured we needed it. Catalog style was the way to go. For those envelopes, there is a seam down the middle, and the envelope opens on the shortest end. Booklet style envelope opens on the longest side.
I told them that I had the original file as well as the PDF. They told me that the original file is essentially worthless if the links and the fonts are not also embedded. They said that, for it to be useful, it had to be "packaged." I knew that from school training, but like a dope, forgot. I manually included the link to the image file in a separate folder, but it did not have the typefaces. Fortunately, the PDF saved my bacon. They even had me come around their front counter to look at it on their computer screen to ensure that it looked the way that I needed it to. It did. (For some reason, salesman at the counter assumed that the copier error where the ink had not fully printed the logo was intentional. I assured him it was not.)
Satisfied the job was going to be done, I then drove out to the next printer to have them print the 9x12 envelopes that I needed. They are about fifty dollars cheaper than the downtown printer. The one worry that I still had was wondering if the first printer I visited will use the second one to print the job I gave them, and then charge me extra for handling. Was there a chance that the poor slob who operates the press will see a job with the same logo on two different sized envelopes for two different clients? Will it matter? Will there be any embarrassment for me or the printer if they find out that I used two different printers for essentially the same work? Maybe there might some embarrassment at a professional faux pas, but I guess I am prepared to deal with it and face the fallout if need be.
Anyhow, arriving to the printers, I was immediately greeted by two medium to large sized dogs Clearly, this was a more relaxed style of business where the owner had decided that dogs were okay. I am always initially weirded out about businesses that have pets, but really, I guess I don't mind if the animals are friendly enough. The dogs sniffed my shoe rather heavily before being called back to someone's desk.
I asked to speak to someone about a quote, which they gave me, and was really nice. I hope that the job turns out as well as I hope because you can't beat their price. I had discovered this print shop when I had gone to a portfolio show and discovered that a former classmate had worked there. I figured, "why not?" This is the sort of networking that is supposed to pay off, right?
Then I returned back to work and continued to work on the booklet that needs to be completed in a couple of days. There are a few articles that the boss needs to send me, but it looks like it will get done on time, even if I have to work over the holiday.
I signed out at 5pm, which is normal for me. I wasn't going to do much overtime today because I felt like I had already done enough, and a good job at that. Unfortunately, our work culture seems to run on stress and frustration. If someone is not constantly complaining about being over-worked, over-tired, or having too much with not enough time to do it, then we really are in trouble. That sort of environment seems to work when it comes to getting the jobs done, but at a personal and emotional cost to the people there. It is a fraying of nerves that slowly come undone a strand at a time. Maybe this sort of environment is part of why I feel anxious most of the time. As if the only solution to problems is to worry about what is not getting done, because formally coming up with practical solutions or organizing a plan is apparently too much or out of the question.
I was glad work was done.About an hour later, I was making plans for my monday night. Monday night is my night to go to the center and says prayers or offer devotions. Tonight, a homeless gentleman who may or may not have schizophrenia, was there. It has sort of become my default job to be there and help the ladies feel comfortable about this unpredictable element of a man with a mental health issue. I try to engage the man positively on his terms and help him to feel as comfortable as possible. It is not always possible to hold his attention the entire time, and he whispers and laughs to himself a lot, so there is no telling what he is thinking about in any given instance.
Still, I have to believe that his presence there might be helping him keep a hold on some part of sanity—a reassurance that society still is willing to engage with him. He is not a non-person. People still look at him, engage with him, and offer some small amount of help that they might have. Unlike last time, no-one offered him any protein bars, nuts, or other kind of food, but I noted that he had a plastic bag full of pizza slices. I do not know where or how he may have gotten them, but I imagine that a sympathetic worker at a local pizza place may have given him the left-over slices from a days work. Seeing a bag filled with food like that is a sobering reminder about how much the homeless have to think about the basic necessities of life during a given day. If I am ever homeless, I wonder how I might cope with the lack of food?
His situation is really tough, and unfortunately in our society, apparently common. He is clearly grappling with a mental heath condition that prevents him from acting in his own best interests to get off the streets (if there is a way to do that). He imagines gods and goddesses (literally) are talking to him. They give him warnings or guidance that directly tell him to do something. Of course, a person in that condition is not going to take medication that forces them back into a healthy reality. And, other people he meets in society cannot force him to do it, even as the government won't do it. A family member, might, if they could fight through the bureaucracy, have him institutionalized. But that is assuming that the family members is around or wants to get involved. I don't know this man's last name, so I do not have a clue if he has family or not. I have heard the older folks say that people like him used to be put into institutions where doctors and nurses monitored them and helped them take their medications, something that the government paid for. But that is no longer the case, people in his condition, too far removed from reality wind up on the streets or in jail. Fortunately, for this man in particular, he seems too nice to do anything violent, but I guess that is only as long as his illness doesn't progress or go any further,
As far as devotions at the center went, I hope that they were beneficial to those who were there. It is hard to know. I feel slightly sad knowing that the amount of people who attend seems unusually small. More people could (and probably should) attend, but for one reason or another, they don't. I have tried to make it my Monday priority. It is one of my methods being sane and healthy myself. An investment in the things in life that, hopefully, really matter.
02 July 2018
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