Fort Hoskins II

After making a breakfast that consisted of three eggs and reheated coffee, I spent most of the morning cleaning things up and straightening the mess that my room had become. The piles of paper that had been on the floor were thrown out, the books that were strewn everywhere had been restacked, and the dirt on the floor was swept away. I took my time doing all of that since I've been trying to cope with the loss of my previous career path: English scholar/teacher. I get the sense that most people who know me want me to get over my moods already and move on with my life, and to be really honest, I am doing the best I can. I'm trying not to let it get in the way too much, but I can't help feel some loss about it.

The overview session that I went to today, the one I mentioned in my previous post, the overview session for the graphic design program I am applying to, was somewhat underwhelming. I think the main purpose of the meeting was to dissuade the unserious and errant dabblers from enrolling in the program. If you saw Art School Confidential, you got to see the arty stereotypes that make up these sort of classes--unserious, errant dabblers being one of those stereotypes. I'm afraid that my nervousness and anxiety about the program was manifested in my nerdy questions after the main presentation. "Did I submit the portfolio in the proper format," "Does the program make use of wacom tablets," and "How soon do you need to buy the (very expensive) digital camera" all were questions that could have at least have waited until August 30th, about the date when I find out if they even accept me. The question that was really on my mind is "How am I going to pay for this," and of course that is a question that, eventually, only I can answer.

After the presentation was over, I went to Circuit City and looked at some several hundred dollar cameras, with so many buttons and screens that it seemed obscene somehow. None of the clerks there appeared to want to answer any of my questions because they all ignored me. Perhaps they somehow sensed I was the essence of poverty. I then went to the gym and worked out for about half an hour, because...well because I sometimes feel like a "fat sack of crap." (Not really, but it's my new phrase.) My last stop was at the pet store to pick up three cheap fabric mice for the cat that lives outside my door to chew on. I am going to try and take the next couple of days easy as far as my worrying about this graphic design program. It is not worth getting heartburn over. Besides, I got over things to work on in the meantime.

22 August 2006
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